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The note was waiting on my doorstep.

Clive Griffiths
Clive Griffiths
1 min read

The note was waiting on my doorstep.
Along with a mini bottle of Prosecco.

Unexpected.

Another estate agent looking for an opening.
After all the house has been on the market for a while.
And you can’t criticise a sales person for trying hard - right?

The note started …

“I hope this note finds you well.”

And that was the first warning sign.

Jen Allen-Knuth was the first to draw my attention to this phrase.
It’s one of the most frequently expressions at the start of spam email.

And, let’s face it, since there is no personal contention … this agent probably doesn’t give a fig about my health.

The note continued. “I wanted to get in touch as I’ve noticed …”

The second warning sign.

All together the word “I” was used 6 times in the note.

- I hope
- I wanted
- I’ve noticed
- I’d love
- I’d be delighted
- I can support you

It reads more about the agent’s wants than the homeowner’s situation.

And then the ultimate crime.
“I’d be delighted to have a chat …”

There’s a Scottish voice (the first sales mentor) in my head which reminds me.
“Never say chat to clients … monkeys chatter, executives discuss.”

So, Prosecco aside … no goal.

How would you improve this type of note and get the sales meeting?

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