Talking too much

I was in a meeting once where I said a lot.
Frankly… I just talked too much.

Good points.
Clear insights.
People nodding (off).

Afterwards, my boss pulled me to one side and said, “You didn’t hear half of what the client said, did you?”

She was right.

I’d spent the whole time in my own head, lining up my next point, quietly disagreeing, building arguments against things that hadn’t even been said yet.

I looked engaged.

I wasn’t paying attention.

Her feedback stung. A lot! Enough that in the next meeting I tried something different.

I stopped trying to be the one with the best answer.

And just listened, paying maximum attention.

Not perfectly. My mind still wandered. I still interrupted. I still wanted to show how much I knew.

But I started catching it.

Catching when I drifted.
Catching when I pushed too hard.
Catching when people switched off.

That’s what changed.

I didn’t become a better 'seller'.
I paid more, and better, attention.

Now after any meeting, I ask myself one thing:

“How well did I manage my attention?”

And if the answer’s “not great”, the fix is simple:

In the next meeting, say less than you normally would.
Notice the moment your mind starts rehearsing... and stop.
Let people finish their point, properly. And inquire further.

Do that once and you’ll feel the difference.
Do it a few times and other people will too.

Everything else - better relationships, clearer answers, more useful conversations - follows from that.