Meetings don't need to be toxic

Mediocre listening. Something I see a lot when working with groups.

Nowadays it seems everyone has a point to make. Our culture rewards show and tell. Listening seems to have become an afterthought.

We wait for a pause … so we can interject and draw attention to our expertise. We ask questions that shift the conversation away from what's been said onto our agenda.

Trying to outdo - or undo - the other speaker's point sets us apart and breaks rapport. Inadvertently we deny ourselves the opportunity to build trust and real influence.

When we miss the chance to ask a good question … one that might have taken the speaker's idea to a deeper level … we also miss thoughts that need to be clearly heard.

And, when this happens, meetings quickly deteriorate into conversational ping-pong. We each make our points, and the conversation goes back and forth, around and around, with no resolution or decision. Ironically everyone ends up feeling unheard and frustrated.

That's a shame because meetings don't need to be toxic. There is a different way.

The bottom line

Get real: Do you listen with your full attention, or do you just wait to talk?

Get prepared: Become aware of and calm your inner dialogue.

Get savvy: Notice and modify your interruption patterns.

Thanks as always for reading.